2 replies to this topic

[swiggles]

Are there any step-parents out there? It seems to be such a challenging position regardless of any diagnosis!
If anyone can relate, there are so many confusing issues that I wouldn't know where to start- so I'll leave it as question for now. I am dating a guy with a son and we have been together over a year now. The whole situtaion is still very overwhelming and I feel guilty dwelling on it.

Thanks all! have a nice day

[Delta]

Are there any step-parents out there? It seems to be such a challenging position regardless of any diagnosis!
If anyone can relate, there are so many confusing issues that I wouldn't know where to start- so I'll leave it as question for now. I am dating a guy with a son and we have been together over a year now. The whole situtaion is still very overwhelming and I feel guilty dwelling on it.

Thanks all! have a nice day

I am a step parent, and so is my husband. You are right, it is challenging. My husband and I have been married for four years, and we dated for nearly two years before. When we began dating, his daughter was just turning 3 and my son was just turning 8. Today, his daughter is almost 9, my son is almost 14, and our daughter is almost 3 (all three kids have June birthdays).

We've had the typical adjustments to make in blending and building our family, but we have been diligent about confronting issues and finding resolutions that work for everyone as much as possible. It's not easy to do much of the time, but if both people are determined to make it work, and treat each other with respect and patience, it can be done.

I wasn't diagnosed with Narc w/ C until Sept. 2010, so we were not even aware we were dealing with that issue the first two and a half years we were married (actually, it became significantly worse after our daughter was born, for obvious reasons, but it wasn't until her first birthday that I realized that something was VERY WRONG with me ). In a way, we've all become closer as we've gone through the trials of coping with my illness. My complaint is, however, that I can't be involved as I want to be, so I feel isolated and left out, and a burden as well. No one treats me that way; I just feel it.

I don't know if this will be of any help to you. I might have suggestions I could give you, if you like.

[swiggles]

Thank you I appreciate the reply!

I've been worried that my inability to be involved as much as I'd like comes across as not caring for the child. I understand feeling isolate and left out - that's a tricky one to handle.
That's funny about the June birthdays- "June is coming!" (do you watch game of thrones?) It's a big month around this house too. I do not have kids of my own yet which changes the dynamics a little. I will definitely message you if (WHen haha) I need advice. For now I am confused an frustrated. Was fighting with the boyfriend last night and didn't want to be. We have shared custody so there is plenty of time to argue/discuss things without doing so in front of his son.
He seems so nonjudgemental and supporting with the N issues, but this is my first relationship knowing I have N. so it's hard to tell.

For now I need to get outside and cheer up!

Thanks again an keep in touch