Member
Posted 02 February 2013 - 08:20 PM
My narcolepsy/IH is mild right now, and I have no trouble dating. But I hear that narcolepsy and IH both get worse as one ages, and I was wondering if people with more severe narcolepsy or IH can date?
I am not unattractive, not overweight, and fairly intelligent. I get along well with people and am friendly. Because of this, I never had trouble getting dates in the past. But as my IH/narcolepsy progresses, is my dating life going to come to a screeching halt? What has been your experience?
Member
Posted 03 February 2013 - 10:56 PM
Experiences vary. I am in a healthy long-term relationship, but it was one that began when my symptoms were easier to manage, and she also has the patience of a saint and has seen my private struggles which also makes her more sympathetic to me. Starting a relationship from scratch right now would probably be impossible for me. This is mainly due to my loss of intellect (I would say my IQ is 75% of what it was) and my flattened affect. However, many people do not experience such demonstable loss of cognition, so don't feel like my fate is yours. It's funny because I do have a number of women flirting with me after I dropped my extra weight and started working out, but I would have been a much better person to date prior, when I had the weight, because I was a much better and kinder person. Not that I would ever consider leaving my current gf because I love her to death, but I just find it interesting at how poor we humans really are at choosing prospective sig others.
Member
Posted 04 February 2013 - 06:10 PM
I am a pwn and have cataplexy too. I am not going to lie it has made my dating life interesting when I was younger. I had a cataplexy attack during my first kiss lol. He later braged he was such a good kisser he made girls faint. I believe, dating is very possible. I was also blessed with a close group of supportive friends who helped keep me safe and ofen caught me when my cataplexy was triggered. I am now happily married for 3yrs and dont know what I would do with out my supportive husband. I read a joke somewhere that cataplectics pick there mates for there hight to hide thier attacks in public. In my case I did good on that in real life.
It is not always easy though, I was enaged once, he meet a cataplectic child in the waiting room of my sleep docs and broke it off. You just need the right one, because it is not easy being apart of a PWN and Cataplexys life.
Member
Posted 05 February 2013 - 01:48 PM
"You just need the right one, because it is not easy being apart of a PWN and Cataplexys life"
well said 'misssleepy'...
About to be 33, really have never had a 'serious' relationship, hardly even anything beyond friendships. A fling or two when I was under 20, but such never was anything more than such.
Dating is different than having a relationship, which comes later. Edit- Although, I really have no idea and that, is only an observation / presumption. - End Edit
The trouble I've had, especially in hindsight now being able to look back at it, Cataplexy interferes dramatically.
It's not trouble with expressing through words as much as it is being able to lift your arm/s, or make that first step; to touch, to kiss, to express what is not only words.
It be nice if society and culture didn't make it all on the man, to at least make the first step... =/
Always have been patient, assuming one day things would just click, that a relationship would appear as something mutual and natural.
Yet, perhaps that is the downfall, overly respecting and overly analyzing; not being objective, actually being honest..?
I can't play all the little, basic and standard [simple for other, as it seems and/or appears, often]; games, I'll call them.
Such, exhaust me immediately and even within just simple chit chat.
Although, a deep engaging conversation would be exhausting in a different way, such just doesn't occur as I have no idea how to arrive there.
Being asked for some change, or asked directions, chit chat; tends to result in perhaps a freeze/pause, mumble, a bobbing and/or drooping of the head, a facial spasm.
So, I appear like some heroin using degenerate being; even though it's just Cataplexy.
At this point, I just accept it all as being whatever it is, I don't have such energy; a loss, a gift, a real heavy pain, a lot of alone time, a transparent bubble all of my own which fits only with my own it seems.
'Paradise Hell', it is and/or may/can be.!
Member
Posted 13 February 2013 - 12:53 PM
I just started dating again, and Ive gotta say it was exhausting! But, now that I found ONE person that I want to continue dating its much easier. Some problems though...
1. staying up later then I should
2. not being able to take my first dose of Xyrem due to having eaten to close to bedtime
3. having the N chat, I havent done this yet but I know its coming
4. and lastly the damn night sweats caused by Xyrem. I know I cannot survive with out it, but the night sweats are just gross!
Well those are my thoughts about dating at this moment in time
Member
Posted 13 February 2013 - 02:35 PM
Yea, after seeing the reaction of some of the sig others on this forum, you might want to have that chat before too long, so the other person doesn't feel "betrayed." Personally, I think it's asinine to feel betrayed by someone having an illness, but I can understand the frustration I guess, especially since there arent any obvious physical symptoms that one's mirror neurons can pick up on.
Member
Posted 14 February 2013 - 11:45 AM
I told him some SP w/ HH stories and told him about having way to much Rem, and that I have to take a crazy medicine at night. I may tell other symptoms but I am definitely not going to label myself as a PWN until I am ready. Its not like I have a life threatening disease... and our society has ruined the understand of N with jokes in movies. Id rather him see me as me instead of a PWN.
Honestly if someone gets pissed that I didn't tell them they can *BEEP* off!
I try to not let my N get in the way of my life. Yes, I am tried every moment of every day but, I work very hard to not show exactly how freaken tired I am!
