1 reply to this topic

[AckDreams]

Grrrr I have a serious case of the Narcoleptic/Cataplexy grumps!

Stupid rotten other-people's-kids with their freaky sudden unexpected screams that startle me! Stupid surfers who get eaten by waves and make me think they are surely drowning, they make me so frightened for their safety that I can't move my arms! Stupid guns in movies that send my head falling back and make me unable to hold myself up! Stupid dogs who occasionally bark indoors causing me to high five the floor with my face! And stupid dog who is so silly she makes me laugh so hard I can't move and then she licks my eyes and there's nothing I can do to stop her! And stupid dog that paces in the middle of the night causing me to wake but I can't move till the paralysis passes so I have to just lay there waiting and listening to the dog pee on the floor which makes me so mad that I cataplexy and then fall asleep then wake in the morning forgetting about the mess till I step in it in the morning, startled I look down and realize what it is and then I get mad and grossed out and then.... ZZzzzzz!

Stupid thunder that sounds far far away, like the danger is passing and then bang, knocks me out! Stupid new cell phone commercial with the woman screaming like mad at the image of a spider on a cell phone, it freaks me out every time... and by the way... stupid hypagogonic hallucinations of bugs and damn the occasional real bug crawling on me that tricks me into thinking it's not really there! Stupid neighbor who slams her front door insanely hard at random! Stupid YouTube with it's funny videos that exhaust me for hours! Stupid parents whose stress stresses me out till I can't get out of bed for hours and then they complain my sleeping is stressing them even more and it makes a crazy vicious circle, hence it's summer and I'm already stressing about having to visit them at Christmas!

Stupid drool that pours out of my mouth and onto my shirt when I sleep and tattles on me when I'm trying to lie and say I wasn't asleep! Stupid register woman chit chatting the person ahead of me in line when my sleep attack countdown has begun and I just need to pay for my stuff and get to my car to sleep ASAP before I end up folding to the ground and sleeping right there in line! Stupid car windows I wish weren't see threw so no one could see how much I nap in my car! Stupid TV remote that keeps hiding from me and keeps ending up in random places like the bathroom, the fridge, my car, my hamper! Stupid cool programs on NOVA late at night when I need to sleep but it's so interesting I can't turn it off and go to sleep... and stupid cuttlefish documentary and the crazy @ss nightmares it gave me! Stupid Law and Order TV marathons, I fall asleep during one episode and wake during another and then I think it's all the same show and I can't make sense of the odd turn the plot seems to have taken! Stupid appetite... hey who ate all the Oreos... was it you... was it... oh damn it,... I think it might have been me.... damn calories I don't remember eating.... what a waste! Stupid heat that makes me... what... where is the... let me just nap for a min.... hey when did it become night, where did the day go, what day is it.... f*cking heat... f*cking Narcolepsy! Stupid orgasms that feel so good... um that's nice... just like that... ZZZzzzzzzz... crap I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep, I swear it's not you.. it's me! Stupid.... stupid... what the hell was I gonna say??? Damn it! What's her name who... of I forget... you know what I mean.... I hope.... because... I have completely forgotten what I was talking about..... ugggggghhhh!

Damn Narcolepsy with Cataplexy........ venting about it exhausts me!!!

[angeline]

I'm sorry you have to go thru such awful things. My heart goes out to you. If I lived in your town, I would do my best to be your friend and support. I know how hard this illness is to live with. I have N with C with sleep apnea.
It's not easy to keep the blues away...

Y'know, that was a really good piece of writing. Honest! I think you could edit it and put it in a poetry contest or essay contest for chronically ill people or something. It was so descriptive and helps us understand the complexities of cataplexy. Maybe you can use it for Cataplexy/Narcolepsy Awareness Day or in a magazine about this dreaded illness. I'm very serious. I think you could publish your experience, you are a very good writer...